Gosh. Somehow i keep falling sick this year. But this paticular bout of illness is lasting far too long and has a detrimental effect on both my physical and mental wellbeing.
The highest fever i've gotten for more than a decade. 38.6 degree celcius. I thought my thermometer was spoilt and took my temperature using another thermometer which just displayed the same temperature.
It explains the lack of activity from my usually over-active sweat glands in this terribly hot Singapore even with my air-conditioner switched off, and me snugly tucked under my blanket with jacket and long pants. Yes, i'm serious. Not a single drop of perspiration. But i'm on the road to recovery. Thank God :) Hurry up and speed up recovery process, please!
I had alot of things i wanted to write last night but i was too tired to switch the computer on. I've not touched the computer for the last couple of days which speak volumes, doesn't it? Anyway, i seemed to have lost my train of thoughts..
After i have turned 21 months ago, i have received countless questions of "How does it feel to be 21?"
....
No paticular feeling.
Am I supposed to feel different?
<< Adapted from the Diary of a Disillusioned Asian >>
Despite stepping into adulthood in the eyes of the law, it seems i'm forever a child in my parents' eyes. Cliche as it may sound, but it's true. My parents do not seem to be loosening the tight reign over me. Not now, and definitely nowhere in the near future either. They seem to be trapped in their own quagmire of self-contained parenting rules that threatened to fossilise any moment. But of course, they don't see it that way.
Other parents move with the times, slowly loosening the leash as their children grow up. But my leash is getting abeit tight for me, almost suffocating at times. There is sometimes a temptation to just bite off the tight bind around my neck but it remains a dream that i dare not seek to fulfil.
Contrary to what many people have thought, my family is far from westernized. Although their command of Mandarin is poorly grasped, and speak almost hilarous smatterings of it, the traditional Chinese customs, values and traditions are kept close to their hearts. Take for example the dumpling festival. Having grown up in a cosmopolitan and westernized environment, I have to admit i really don't see the purpose behind all the festivals. Well, yes i do know the gist of the stories behind all these Chinese festivals but no, i really don't see the point in doing so. However, years after years, my parents force us to eat whatever that is related to the festival. Dumplings for dumpling festival..Mooncakes for Mid-Autumn festival, barbequed pork during Chinese New Year. I don't see the significance of all these but i obligingly stuff those high-caloried, oil-ladened "delicacies" into my mouth year after year. Needless to say, Asian peers around me hardly have these kind of practices in their family.
I definitely do not harbour any mean intentions or ill thoughts towards my parents. I do not doubt their love and concern for me. Nevertheless, i would prefer they would keep their overbearingness in check. There are times they really need to see that we have all grown up and more often that not, the reasons that they give to justify their unruly behavior are really not justified at all. How many times do the others my age, i wonder, feel that they are not understood by their parents? Unfairly treated? Or even wished their parents were like someone else's?
<< End of Adaptation >>
Hmmm. Asian values. Asian cultures. So vastly different from our Western counterparts. At the age of 18, they move out to their own apartments, drive their own cars and attend college far away from their homes. But they still turn out alright, don't they?
To sum it all up.
OVERPROTECTIVENESS.
Till it borders on being overbearing.
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