It's 2010!! Whoots! As we bid farewell to 2009, a lot of thoughts came to mind and I guess I shall share them here ^-^
2009 marked a very important milestone of my life.
WALK THROUGH 2009
The start of 2009 marked my last semester of my undergraduate days in NUS. It was, at that time, I recall, a pretty painful phase for me because I was not ready to leave. I thoroughly enjoyed the moments I had in NUS - both the stressful and busy periods, as well as all the fun I had with friends I have made in those memorable years there. No doubt I grumbled, complained and whined during certain periods in my uni life, I still loved every moment of it at the end of the day because those are what makes it even more memorable. The friends who went through those hellish periods with me were the very same friends who made it so much more bearable and enjoyable. Thank you for your company! In no order of preference, special thanks to Twinnie, Zx, Wen, Joe, Debs, Yt, Stella, CL, Dan, Ahmee, Mg, Daryl, Kuaile, Charms, Lix, GH, Veron and everyone I knew back in NUS. It was ultimately each and everyone of you who formed such a perfect memory of the happy place :) Thankeww~~
Subsequently, I graduated in July 2009. Though it was a bittersweet convocation, it signaled the end of the sheltered and comfortable zone I always lived in. During the period of July to October, I grew in my spiritual walk in God. Initially, I started to feel frustrated at my inability to snag "the dream job". Job offers trickled in..but they were not what I wanted..and nothing that I could see myself doing. During this period, I am exceptionally grateful for the friends who stood by me, encouraging me to believe that the time will come. I admit, with much shame, that my faith was affected. I wondered during that period, did God actually plan this? How come I can't find a job? This was not how I expected it to be! But thankfully, He placed friends who kept reminding me to believe in Him. Special mention was Twinnie, Debs and Boo. Thanks ^-^ Thanks for walking me through this frustrating period of my life :)
After which, jobs were pouring in. Jobs that I could see myself doing and the fact that I got accepted after so many rounds of interviews was a great boost to my confidence which at that point of time, got to a pretty low point. Then came the headache of WHICH JOB to choose. I remember feeling frustrated at which offer I should accept. Again, Twinnie and Boo were there to support me throughout the whole process. I remember I kept repeating all the pros and cons to Twinnie but she very patiently sat with me and listened. HAHAHA. HUGSS! I love you, Twinnie! And Boo who also bothered to listen to my roundabout thoughts every single day!
So, I finally came to a decision and have been working for a few months now. Well...working life is very different from school life. But I am getting used to it..I remember in the initial part of the job, there was twice I cried on my way home while on the bus. Yes, I know. What a sight it must have been right? I was trying very hard to control and I thought by closing my eyes the tears will not escape. But obviously I was wrong. The current broke the flood gates. At that point of time, I really wondered what I was doing with my life. I was so unhappy. But things are picking up now, Thank God. I do enjoy the company of selected people at work :)
MAIN LESSONS LEARNT IN 2009
- God really has plans for us
Remember I said my faith wavered because of my frustration that I could not get the "perfect job" upon graduation? He knows best. He gave me the long period to play and enjoy myself. We will be working for life afterall. After we start work, it is tough to find such freedom as before, where we call each other up in the morning and go out in the afternoon etc. The break was a period for me to rest properly before entering the 'corporate world of slavery', as what Boo said.
In addition, it also strengthened my spiritual walk with Him - to have faith, and to trust fully , He has everything in store :) Even though what He planned might not be what we have in mind, everything will turn out fine in the end, or even better. Those periods of darkness are lessons to be learnt. What we take away at the end of the journey of darkness is more than what we could have gotten if we were given light straightaway.
- Expectations requires adjustments
People inevitably form different expectations of people. Naturally you will expect more from people who mean more to you then an acquaintance, for example. And when people fall short of your expectations of them, disappointment and sadness will be the predominant emotions. Anger lurks as well..
In 2009, I expected quite a lot from certain people, and was very upset when expectations were not met. Then Luigi pointed out to me why did I expect this from so and so? Who am I to this person?? Yes , it was a painful truth. Truth that I probably knew subconsciously but refused to admit. The harshest moment was when ML told me "It is obvious that this person does not care about you as much as you do for this person . Can you stop it?" Well..all I can say is that these friends are great. They dare to tell you things without sugar-coating the truth. Without them, I am most possibly still stuck in my own quagmire of unrealistic expectations. HAHAHAHA I remember when Wen shouted at me "Grace, why are you so stupid?!" Nonono, it's not a joke! It was real! She really meant it. I knew she made sense but I was even more upset because I knew what she said was the truth. Well...I am just glad they managed to knock sense in to me :)
In any case, I have to readjust the expectations that I have of other people so as to keep disappointment to the minimal level.
- Some promises were never meant to be kept...
Certain promises were made to me in 2009 and I genuinely believed that they will be kept. When they were broken, I, too, was broken. Obviously, these promises were not as important to the other party as I thought they were.
But throughout all these experiences, it thought me to be more resolute in my decisions. To be more decisive. To be more clear-headed.
- Being Forgetful may be a bliss
Being (selectively) forgetful can be a bliss. You forget the unhappy things and move on. It's a skill to master! You forget selective bad memories and let go of the past. Of course, you cannot forget certain important matters!
- We gain some, We lose some
The heading says it all.
Sometimes losing may not always be a bad thing. It may make life better. And the new?? The new comes with its new experiences and new memories and bonds to be forged :)
Out with the old and in with the new! ^^,
Well, Goodbye 2009 and Hello 2010!
I look at 2010 with much anticipation and trepidation. What will 2010 bring?!
Wheee~~ May all of you have a blessed New Year ahead with love, peace, happiness and joy.
S-M-I-L-E FOLKS! ^-^
If you managed to read every single line to this point, thank you for following me through this lengthy post. At least I meant enough for you to take time off to read this! ^_-
Oh oh oh! I'll be attending the SG*AI.R-Sh.O*W. I spelled it like that because I don't want my blog to be searchable because of that. HAHAHA. Moreover, I will be going because of work. Due to the nature of my job, it's best to be unsearchable haha..
Oh sheesh..time's up! Gotta fly~~~ *whines*
