-Last Day of Class-

Alas, the day that i was dreading is here.

Today marks the last day of my university classes. This feeling of loss and strangely, pain. The place that i grumbled, groaned and cried about the torment that i was subjected to in these 3 years. Yes, i am going to miss it. Because this is also the place where there have been countless fond and happy memories. I am not ready to leave.

Cliche as it might sound, the day i stepped in to NUS as a freshie is still very much fresh in my mind. How did 3 years just whizz past me like that?! I am not ready to leave. There are too many unresolved issues... Too many things i still want to do here... So many parts of the school that i haven't explored... I can't just leave everything behind like that. I can't bear to.

Ack. Yes i'm just a sentimentalist. An overly sentimental person at that. I was talking to a couple of people who actually expressed glee and excitement about leaving.

Trying on the graduation gowns was like a slap in the face. That THIS was reality. Graduation is drawing near. In normal circumstances, most people will be extremely excited at the prospect of graduation. GH was so happy to be graduating that he has already booked the gowns. I'm just dragging my feet over this as long as i can. How many times am i going to say this... I am not ready to leave...

I think this is the first time i felt this upset about leaving school. Perhaps it is due to the knowledge that i won't be moving on to another school but out in to another entirely new phase in life that i am soo not ready for. Perhaps because i haven't gotten the answers i seek. Perhaps the goals i have set for myself have not yet been attained. Perhaps i just have not had enough fun!

The closest loss i felt was during Installation back in JC. The uncertainty of our friendships that ultimately proved unfounded. And this brings back memories of the song Pass It On and how we sang it with tears in our eyes...

As we grow up, things change. People change. Friendships change. How many times have i undergone friendship changes?! How many times have we promised that we'll do something at this certain age but by the time we hit that age, we are already no longer that close friends...or even friends for that matter...

Ahhh now other than sounding like a sentimentalist, i sound like a pessimist -_-

This feeling just doesn't set in very nice with me. Whenever i walk along a corridor, i'll wonder how many more times i can walk along this. How many times will i be able to sit in the library at my favourite spot? How many more times will i be able to walk down the slope and to the bus stop?! Sheesh i have so many 'How Many's that i can list. But i shall stop. You get the idea.

Yet, i stubbornly refuse to take pictures with people in my last sem here. How silly i am right...i've always been taking pictures with my module and project mates in other sems. I guess doing it somehow inflicts more pain? It cements the harsh truth that separation is near.

But rather than harping on the number of days i have left...oh gosh, now i sound like i'm dying... I shall enjoy every moment i have left in this wonderful place that has been the setting of such lovely memories. But i guess i'll only be shuttling to and fro the library and canteens in the coming trips back to school. Hmmm.

What should one do when a passing comment is taken out of context and interpreted in a totally different way as your own? The use of a similar concept under a different intention.

Argh. I am missing you already...nus.