I wanted to write about it a long time back but I never got down to doing it until something that happened recently that made me more determined to write about it.
I used to think avoiding conflicts is a good thing. There will be peace. Right? And when there's peace, everyone will be happy. Right??
Absolutely NOT.
Let me give you a scenario where a person, X, is trying to explain his thoughts and emotions to Person Y. So naturally, X voiced his displeasure of certain aspects of Y. Instead of addressing the issue and explaining himself, Y conveniently avoids/forgets/ignores that whole part of the conversation and introduces a new topic in to the conversation.
Resultant effect?
The problem is NOT solved. It's just swept under the carpet.
This will subsequently result in a snowballing effect. And how much stuff can you sweep under the carpet! Dang it!
So the displeasure and unhappiness grows. You might think it's ok. Just tolerate and things will blow over..but NO! That is not resolving the issue! Your displeasure, whether consciously or not, will start to bubble and boil which will ultimately lead to a fall-out.
TRUST ME.
I've witnessed this many times. The more extreme cases are stated below.
1) 2 of my girlfriends fell out because of their initial high tolerance of each other until one day, someone snapped and now the friendship is irreparable. They have been keeping in too much unhappiness with each other. General thinking at that point of time was -Good friends should give in to one another. I agree, but how much can you give in??? There has to be a basic trust and understanding between friends!
2) My girlfriend and her boyfriend broke up because she had a couple of displeasures that the guy ALWAYS conveniently avoids addressing the issues which led to a serious lack of communication and understanding between the 2. How to go on like that when there is not proper communication?
I have also encountered people like that. Ok fine! I admit, I avoid awkward situations and conflicts too. But I will not intentionally avoid the topic when the topic is brought up in my face!! So recently, when I tried to resolve an issue with someone and was subsequently introduced to a whole new conversation topic all of a sudden, I was irritated. Because the problem is not solved. And I don't want things to be left dangling like that.
Running away does not solve anything.
Face up to the problems and try to resolve them.
At the very least, you tried!
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